Day 12, Part Three: The World’s Dumbest Workout Regimen, Part 2

Along with a ridonkulous arm-workout, Cosmo wants you to “Burn 305 Extra Calories a Week” as part of their “7 Cool Tricks You Need Now” feature (You, Even Better, pages 176-178). And their calorie burning tips are even more impractical than using cranberry juice bottles as free weights.

They include:

• squatting over a public toilet (5 calories)
• doing lunges while you try on shoes (5 calories)
• squeezing and releasing your butt muscles while talking to your boss (5 calories)
• lifting up on your toes 15 times while in line at Starbucks (5 calories)
• singing Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” in the shower for 15 minutes (35 calories)
• watching 30 Rock, and laughing for ten minutes (50 calories)
• shaking one’s ass to music while making breakfast (20 calories)
• holding your drink, instead of setting it down on a table, during happy hour (60 calories)

I strongly believe that this is another example of LadyScience. Cosmo doesn’t cite anyone or anything to back them up on their calorie math. Not to mention that some of these tips are counterintuitive. Unless you’re ordering a regular coffee, or hot tea, the calories in your drink will easily gobble up the calories spent standing up on your toes. Alcoholic drinks are loaded with calories, so if you’re that focused on burning calories at happy hour, then don’t go to a freaking happy hour.

If you want to sing in the shower, go right ahead. But singing any song, let alone Katy Perry, would result in my room mate attempting to silence me for good.

And really, butt muscle flexing would be pretty noticeable in an office setting. So do another great, and much more enjoyable pelvic exercise: Kegels.